The Kavenaugh Hearings
The Boys in Albuquerque – photo by Licia Berry
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads! Our job is important and I challenge you to be the best dad you can be – as I have been challenged and challenged myself….
I believe being a good Dad is more complex that we have been taught. We have been taught to be the disciplinarians, to be the providers, to be strong no matter what, to demand excellence at any cost, to mold our children into successful careers. We have been taught that we have power over our children and they better do what we tell them – or else….
The problem is, when we take this approach of power over, we train our children to be subservient not only to us but to anyone in power. We are training them to understand that they must have power over other people if they don’t want to be pushed around. We are training them to follow directions, and that their desires are not as important as the desires of those who have power over them.
I used to believe in this model of fathering, I used to demand things of my children that they were not capable of. I was fathering from a place of wounded Masculine energy – the need to have power over others to feel safe and good about myself. Then I was awakened – not spontaneously – but through the love of my wife Licia. She introduced me to the idea that I was comprised of both Feminine and Masculine energy that are supposed to work in partnership with each other within all of us, male or female.
It was painful to be shown that I was acting from a place of wounded Masculine and, because of that, was inflicting pain upon my children who I was charged to protect and mentor. That realization lead to years of inner work to bring my Masculine energy into partnership with my Feminine energy, and to healing my relationship with my boys.
I learned how to empower my sons; I learned how to help them feel, not just to think. I learned how to show them my vulnerability and my strength so they could have permission to do the same. I learned how to help them to find their passion and to pursue it whole-heartedly. I learned how to encourage them to be the best person they could be without expecting them to be perfect. I learned how to teach them to look at the world critically and to find their way through the challenges of life with grace.
On this Father’s day in 2018, when I look at my boys, I see two grown men who are making their way in the world on their own terms. They are not carrying the wounded Masculine in them the way I did. They know who they are, respect themselves and others, and are building their lives according to their own definition of success. This is my definition of success as a Father.
So, Fathers of the World, you may ask how I became this father, where does this wisdom come from? It comes from the partnered Feminine and Masculine energy within. I learned to heal my Masculine through the love of the Feminine, through the wisdom of my wife Licia. Together we have been exploring healing the masculine and are ready to share what we have learned. Join us in September as we guide you through healing your Masculine as well.
http://juicysacredliving.com/healing-the-masculine-the-online-experience/
Happy Father’s Day!
Peter
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Formidable article!